How to Navigate a Quarter Life Crisis
What is a Quarter-Life Crisis?
A Quarter-Life Crisis is a time of questioning oneself and one’s life that happens to many people around the looming or recently passed 30th birthday (ages ~25-35).
It is a time when the initial excitement of the 20s wears off while we also begin to encounter slowdowns, stagnation, setbacks and other disappointing events in life. A Quarter-Life Crisis may come with symptoms of stress, anxiety, depression or dysthymia, apathy, anger, doubt, or confusion.
Oftentimes, the Quarter-Life Crisis comes on as a reaction to a mixture of concerns that build up over time, such as:
Negative comparisons about oneself vs one’s network
Not feeling fulfillment in one’s work/life or not having achieving enough in life
Feeling stagnant in work or life, but being unsure of what to do next in life
Becoming disconnected from one’s support network and family as a result of people moving, becoming more busy, or starting relationships/families
In other cases, a Quarter-Life Crisis may occur all at once, such as when experiencing one of the following challenging life events:
Facing loss in life, such as the death of a loved one, the end of a romantic relationship, losing one’s job, or a big financial loss
A personal health scare
Experiencing a work burnout or becoming depressed
A big change in life (such as moving) that leads you to feel isolated
If you find yourself heading for a Quarter-Life Crisis, it is important and encouraging to know firstly that you’re not alone.
Scroll down to educate yourself on the 4 steps of the Quarter-Life Crisis.
Take this 8-minute Quarter-Life Crisis exploration survey, which can give you insight into navigating your own QLC
The 4 Steps of a Quarter-Life Crisis
According to research by Dr Oliver Robinson (a specialist in psychosocial adult development), a developmental crisis (which a Quarter-Life Crisis is) is
“A period in adult life that is noticeably more difficult, stressful and unstable than normal, during which you sometimes struggle to cope.
A crisis is also an important turning point in your life due to challenging changes that occur during it.”
Developmental crises also involve the following characteristics:
It is a period that lasts for about one year
It feels like a turning point or feeling of transition
It is a time of instability or “feeling all over the place”
It involves feelings of being overwhelmed and struggling to cope with current strategies
It comes with struggles of negative emotions and stress
It is a period of intense questioning of yourself, your life situation, and what life means
Dr Robinson clarifies that this period of questioning is temporary, and ultimately resolves itself in time, and adds that the resolution of a developmental crisis proceeds through the following 4 stages:
Feeling a sense of being “locked in” (locked into a job, relationship, place, etc.)
A growing sense that change is possible
A period of rebuilding a new life
Cementing fresh commitments that reflect your new interests, aspirations, and values
Keep scrolling to read tips on how to navigate from stage 1 to stages 2-4 of a Quarter-Life Crisis.
How Do You Navigate a Quarter-Life Crisis?
While there is no one size fits all approach to navigating a Quarter-Life Crisis, there are sound suggestions that can help guide you through yours. Consider some of the following tips to begin your process of moving forward:
Get curious about who you are and what kind of life you want to live. A crisis comes about in part because there is a misalignment in what you are doing or seeking, and what your deeper self innately feels is meaningful or seeks. In this time, it is important that you make space for self-reflection and to contemplate your answers to questions like:
Who am I?
Who do I want to be?
What are the moments in life that I enjoy the most?
What parts of life do I like? What parts don’t I like?
What changes might make me more happy and fulfilled?
What are my personal values?
What is my life purpose?
Facilitate your reflections using tools such as journaling, meditation, writing, creating music, cardio exercise, or other activities which help you to calm down the noisy and constant stream of thoughts we are constantly inundated with.
Educate yourself on how developmental crises work and how other people navigated their own by reading books, blog posts, listening to podcasts, and talking to people about their experiences and learnings.
In addition to self-reflection, consider working with someone else to guide you through this challenging time, such as a therapist, mentor or coach
Expand and exercise your interests and passions. Travel, learn new skills, take up creative pursuits, meet new people, try new things, and generally explore life more.
Explore the possibility of changing your job or career, or location of living. If this creates anxiety for you, consider how exploring is a very normal process throughout life, and exploring alternative jobs/careers/locations is a healthy part of our career development. This is particularly true if you are in a period of deep questioning. You may end up deciding not to make a work or location change, and in this case the exploration process can instill you with more confidence and a renewed appreciation for the fact that your current job/location is actually still the right one for you. Or, you may realize that the job/location is good, but a few changes would make it great.
Scroll down to read some good news and hear my invitation to you.
Quarter-Life Crisis Coaching
As explained above, navigating a Quarter-Life Crisis may be tough, but it is actually one of the most beneficial opportunities to arise. It’s a chance to redesign your life, before you get to the end of life. There are many people who don’t get this chance until it arrives in the form of a Mid-Life Crisis, and many more who never realize that they wanted to make changes to live more meaningful lives until their final days.
So congratulations: your Quarter-Life Crisis is actually a gift in disguise: a golden ticket to change the arc of your life here and now, and to lead a life that is more fulfilling and makes you more happy.
So I invite you to work with me, to open up the gift that your Quarter-Life Crisis has given you. I invite you to work with me to figure out what change in life will bring you more meaning and happiness.
I’ve personally navigated this experience myself. As a trained personal development coach I can help you move from stage 1 (feeling locked in and hopeless) to stages 2-4, consider talking with me. I specialize in supporting people who have experienced a work burnout or a Quarter-Life Crisis. You can read more about my own experiences in these areas in this essay on my Quarter-Lief Crisis and this essay on Burnout.
I offer a free 60-minute exploratory coaching call with no commitments to continue. In even just one session, most of my clients report feeling more understood, hopeful, and in possession of new ideas to help them figure out what to do next to feel more fulfilled and happy in their work and life.